Life's too short to be a pussy

London (2005)
Meh.  There's really no way around it.  Slice of life movies are pretty much all or nothing for me and this one really didn't click.  Probably doesn't help that there are few likable characters in it or that the majority of it is people doing blow, which has thankfully never been my thing.  This is again more of a Chris Evans vehicle than a proper Statham movie and like Fantastic Four, Chris is again cast as an ass.  He plays it well enough, he's just really not likable when he's not getting to play the reluctant hero in some fashion or another.  He pulls off the arrogant asshole just fine, it's just not fun to watch.  He does at least give us a good object lesson in Remedial Relationship 101:  If you love someone so much that your world will fall apart without them, particularly if it's Jessical Biel, try to say the words at least once.  Jackass.

Statham has a decidely odd role in this.  First off, he has hair.  Which is distracting in pretty much every scene he's in.  Secondly, with the exception of one impressive scene near the end, he's mostly exists as someone for Chris to describe his busted-ass relationship.  The scene were Statham tells what it's literally live the life of impotent rage is impressive, if almost completely out of place.  He did go pretty deep into rage though and was mesmerizing while doing it.  Otherwise...  Meh.

Badassery Quotient - 1
I'll not give it a zero since Statham says 'fuck' every 5th word and does have the nice rage bit, but aside from going psycho on random party guests at the end, there's not really any action to be had in this one.  And he really can't very well be menacing with that hair, now can he?

Rewatchability - No thanks
It's borderline regrettable that I spent the time watching this, but it at least had a couple of redeeming moments.  And Jessica Biel.  But there are better movies to watch her in. 

Up next - Revolver.  I hear it's a bit of a missfire compared to previous Ritchie movies, but hopefully it'll be entertaining enough.  Very unlikely to be a worse use of my time than watching London at any rate.